Shariah Shenanigans

We did a pitch, my Partners and I, at a Shariah-compliant bank somewhere in Southeast Asia the other day.  This was interesting.  Because the CEO of this particular bank was impressed with what we had to say about the future in ‘Green Banking’ and sustainable financial products, we were invited of an evening to come along and make a full presentation about our experience and ideas in this connection to his entire management team and supervisory council. 

We were picked-up to go to the bank by a gaggle of Benz sedans, and somehow as odd man out I ended up in a car with one lady minder, dutifully clad in headscarf, to show the way.  She spoke beautiful English, had been to study for a half-year in Melbourne, was a member of the young Muslim women’s leadership council and had graduated near the top of her university class.  She pumped me, bright-eyed and enthusiastic, for information about Dutch scholarships to do an MBA in Holland.  I was suitably impressed, and said I’d see what I could find out.  I asked about the other younger recruits, and she said that there was a resurgence in faith, so that a bank like this one could choose between well-educated and ethically-driven young folks each year, willing to work hard for a meager wage and the just cause and the advancement of the country as well.  She said a bunch of people would be turning-up to hear us tonight, as ‘green’ issues were high on the younger staffers’ agendas and all this was completely consistent with Islamic principles to do with respecting the environment and being generally ‘sustainable’.  I was even more impressed.

When we entered the hall, however, my young lady minder melted away, and the only women in evidence (in headscarves) were the ladies tending the ample buffet awaiting us.  The conference room was entirely populated by men, all wearing the bank’s brown suit uniform with beige shirt and dark brown logo tie. Beige socks and brown gum-soled shoes completed this outfit.  A little bit like a conference of park rangers, with unfortunate brown-shirt associations. The commercial guys all sat at one table, jackets off and sleeves rolled-up; the admin types sat at another, ties knotted and jackets buttoned.

The head of HR and Investor Relations (curious functional combo, but OK) got up and made a presentation on the bank’s spectacular results.  When the CEO gave the sign, everybody clapped.  When he frowned and clapped louder, everybody clapped enthusiastically.   Happily, this applied to our presentations as well.  Even the senior supervisory board member present clapped loudly when we had finished, the long hairs sprouting from a mole on his chin waving vigorously like a cat’s whiskers.

Substantively, there was an interesting connection here, which I will freely admit had not occurred to me.  Being green and sustainable in their operations and relations with clients was clearly seen as being ethical and properly observant in their operations.  One of their ‘problems’ was to do with how to dispose of the increasing volume of non-Halal income (tainted because of interest) they received, from the Central Bank and others, on balances held with other institutions.  And it was mentioned that indeed the younger bank staff – and there were many of these, with graduate recruitment running at 1,000+ per year – saw these environmental and social issues as terribly important.

But where was all this leading?  We were clearly pulling somebody’s cart here, but whose?  Like so much in Asia, the real agenda was opaque.  Perhaps we were on trial as potential advisers, or were trucked-in to fly a trial balloon, or simply were put on display to gild the CEO’s image: ‘look at the fancy ideas I am busy with’.  A large part of this job of ours has a ‘performing monkey’ element.  Whether the organ-grinder will let us keep some of the coins is always a question.  Just who is actually grinding the organ is not always self-evident.

I resolve to focus on the concrete, and the visible game.  We will pursue the CEO with suitable proposals, and I will try to find scholarship opportunities for the bright-eyed headscarf girl.  But this may be difficult, as only the men had business cards.

Singapore, February 2012